Sunday, December 14, 2014

being there

Matt worked so Alice and I spent the weekend just the two of us. We walked to Ikea for 99¢ breakfast (and gold wrapping paper purchasing) & she had her picture taken with Santa at the mall. I dressed us in knit hats & that pleased me to no end.

I live for weekends. They are so much more important now that I try to squeeze in the missed quality time during the week into two days and boy is it quality. She is such a good girl in addition to being the cutest thing on this earth.

She did give me what I can only describe as some serious Camacho eyebrow. This isn't it but I knew it when I saw it. It's a face only my dad, brother, & I make.

I am there. Even when I'm not. There I am.

- mobile blog post. spelling irrelevant.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

there's been a lot of crying in the fredrich household lately

I did not know the assault on my heart that working the sort of hours I've been working would have on me. Alice is fine. So good. She has her stash of milk I pump for her and her daddy takes her on long walks, plays with her, gets her down for naps, and makes her laugh and smile. She's been really interested in her toes and puts them in her mouth, rolls herself over from her back to her tummy and vice versa, and is getting chubby around the thighs.
The sucky part about these facts are how I hear about them more than I witness them. Last week I got home in time to tuck her in and change her diaper right before bed but on Sunday during the day when I changed a diaper I noticed how much chubbier her thighs were and I cried about the fact that I hadn't noticed that because its always dark in her room when I change her. I should know that her thighs are getting chubbier. I should know this.
She's decided her bedtime is 8:30-9 so now we work around that time. which is great since now Matt and I have alone time but that leaves me very little wiggle room to get home and hang with her. That Monday was the worst day where I was gone before she was up and then back after she was in bed. It was the day before our shoot and we were in the office from 7am 'til 10pm and she was asleep by the time I got home and I realized I hadn't spent any time with her all day save for a 4am feeding. Ugly cry ensued. Sob Sob. I JUST MISS HER. Boogers. I DIDN'T SEE HER ALL DAY!!! Blubber blubber.
Tuesday was our first shoot and by miracle, though I had to be at the location by 4:30am I was able to get home to hang for a few minutes and then put her to bed. And I do mean a few minutes. She was on her play mat and I held her and she touched my face and hugged me and smiled and laughed and then she started fussing because she knew milk was there and milk means bedtime and she was ready. Those minutes while I held her and saw her were full of happy tears. I love her that much. I miss her that much. And I can't do much about the situation but hang in there and know that Friday will be better and I'll be there for her in the morning and there for her at night. Then the weekend. Then a week of wrap, then I am done for the year and will be holding and hugging her as much as humanly possible. I didn't mind being back at work but those long days are absolute misery missing my Alice. And I know she won't remember these long days. She will have many more happy things to remember about mom.

But still. There's a lot of tears.

Friday, December 5, 2014

tonight i didn't put her to bed

All week at work our dismissal times have gone longer and longer as we get closer to our shoot date on Monday. Tonight's was the longest and Matt got Alice to bed at her earliest bedtime yet of 8:30 while I got home around 10. It was the first time I wasn't home to put her to bed and probably not the last and it broke my little heart.
It is So hard being away from her on those long days. Matt brought her to visit one day and we did a little facetime but I just miss her. I get so little time with her when I come home. I get the morning feeding and then I get a few minutes of holding and then its bedtime. Too little time.
It's the weekend so I will be spending my day snuggling her every second and hearing her laugh during the day. There's more to say about motherhood and working but for now, I guess I'll go to bed and when I am awakened by my Alice I will be so happy.

- mobile blog post. spelling irrelevant.

Monday, November 24, 2014

a special photo

We took family photos over the weekend and we got a few winners. As you know, I'm not into the whole family photo posing situation but I really wanted to get some of the three of us now that we have a way more interesting member of our family. To up the ante on emotion, we took the photos of us at the park where we got married. I cried. Just a little bit.
This has been a great but a financially draining year since I was home with Alice for four months and wasn't earning any money. We're using the photos as presents for some of the family (popsicle stick ornaments galore!) and we're bowing out of any gift exchanges and only getting presents for the kids. I don't feel bad about our financial situation; it was worth it making sacrifices to be home for so long with my nougat.

Every year around this time I have a mental list of things I'd like but this year I can truly say I don't want or need anything, I just want Alice to get things. This is that feeling known as LOVE right? Gross.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

alice's wonderland

Welcome to Wonderland!
Here's the room as I consider it to be "done" with the following caveats- 
1) I got lazy trying to find the "perfect rug" so I gave up and got the $20 at Ikea one. I do not regret the decision. 
2) I want to perfect the hanging lanterns over the cabinet to look like the ones in the Alice in Wonderland teacup ride at Disneyland but I'm gonna take my time with that.
3) The curtains are not my favorite but I'm not changing them for the third time. They are good enough, especially since I janky sauced a blackout liner which keeps the room fairly dark.
4) The battery on my camera died so I didn't finish photographing the closet. You get the gist.
5) Alice is so dang cute.
This was one of my better ideas. I keep things for me to read and things to read to her.
I made this be a little whiteboard action and I think I'll mix it up with Wonderland quotes.
Her little Alice shoes and her painting the roses red headband.
We have five versions of the book. I want more.
I love thinking of the different things she'll be hanging here as she grows up.
Thank you for visiting!